Shut up, Shut up, Shut up!

So, I'm sitting in a meeting today. I'm listening with intent for about ten minutes. Suddenly, it becomes quite apparent why we're all there. THIS person, too was tired of hearing her own voice. Only, instead of politely creating a blog and ranting while rolling eyes, lecturing while creating the sour, dour mouth, she has called a MEETING. We sit there a captive squirming audience. Passing furtive glances at one another. Nervously, shifting weight from one butt cheek to the next. Time seems to actually slow down and stop at one point. After looking at everyone's shoes, clothes, creating a grocery list in my head, thinking about laundry, pondering on David Beckham's CK underwear ads, reality taps and guess what??? She's STILL talking. STILL-with the whining and the sour dour face and head shakes. OMG! How much more can we endure??? The looks of all are of a quiet pain rendering them helpless and hopeless. After an hour and some change. All I can think at this point is: SHUT THE FUCK UP and let me go already!

Metaphorical Thoughts at Bedtime

As I ready the coffee pot for tomorrow and go about ritualistic bedtime motions, my nerve endings are tingling all over. No, haven't smoked any pot, done any drugs, or even had some pre-bedtime booze. I'm going back to work tomorrow after having about eight weeks that I could call my own (within reason, anyway). So, the tingling isn't euphoric, orgasmic, drug-induced tingling. It's the on edge kind. The kind where you dread what's coming next. Then, I have an epiphany. I KNOW this feeling. I've felt it before! It reminds me of when I'm in PMS mode and my spouse knows the garage will be closed for a few days. Sooooo, he begins in the a.m. with the winking and the "looks." You know the "looks." My hormones are convincing my body and my mind that I want no part of anything behind the "looks." Our anticipation levels build all day, but in two VERY different ways. I'm thinkin 'please, God, just let Aunt Flow come a little early.' The obligatory deed hangs out there between us all day. I try not to bend over, wear anything too tight or too revealing, and skip the toothbrushing. THIS is EXACTLY how I feel about going back to work after my extended at-home vacay. I know I'll capitulate; I'll put out or in this case, I'll go. BUT, I won't, won't enjoy it!