Anti-Resolutions for 2010

Dictionary.com defines "resolution":

res⋅o⋅lu⋅tion 
–noun
1.
a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group. Compare concurrent resolution, joint resolution.
2.
a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.
3.
the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.
4.
the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.

For the record, I don't really make resolutions. I realized a long time ago that it was all a giant waste of my time. If I were really going to do those things, I would have already accomplished them. Middle Child asked me recently what my resolutions were going to be this year. I explained my jaded theory and felt bad after he quietly agreed. Should have let him figure this one out on his own. I think I'm going to focus on all of the things I should do but won't and list the things I wish I could make happen in 2010.

Things I should do in 2010 but probably won't:

1. stop facebooking so much

2. stop blogging so much

3. stop texting so much

4. stop feeling negative feelings/thoughts towards others

5. stop putting things off until the last minute

6. stop sitting on my ass and exercise

7. stop drinking so much Heineken

8. stop worrying about my children so much

9. stop watching reality TV-skews the perspective

10. stop having regrets

List of wishes for 2010:

1. I wish I could live more authentically in all areas of my life.

2. I wish I could accept the magic in my life.

3. I wish I could develop my creative interests.

4. I wish I could lovingly embrace my age.

5. I wish I could have more self indulgent moments.

THE END!

Christmas Hangover

Oh, hell. I don't know if this was this best Christmas ever or the worst. I've just had so fuckin many. I'm a hundred years old now anyway. Every Christmas seems one or the other at some point in the 24 hour Eve/Day period, right? I remember when I was going through the sticky situation of who "gets" the boys during Christmas after my divorce. I was never all that hung up on the whole I've got to have them on that day thing. If you look at it as Jesus's birthday, what does that have to do with the boys being with me or not? If you look at it as the whole pagan Santa gift thing, can't I do that on any day of the week/month? Yep, I can. This was Man-Child's first Christmas not living under either roof. Weird, yes. Astonomically-life-changing, no.

What I wanted most for him was for him to be happy being wherever the fuck he wanted to be. Really, no kidding. I'm always trapped in the obligatory need to invite my sister et al over for holidays. I like hangin with her most days but it seems when it comes to "special" days, somebody shows their ass. Guess what? T-giving went well. I guess that was too much. I cooked for what seemed like days to host a loving breakfast for the members of my family. It was a labor of love and my gift to them. I won't go on with the story but no one really seemed to truly value what my offer was meant to be. I let the feelings slide right by as quickly as they came, but when I try to recount it for others, I can't come up with a whole lot of positive comments.

All in all, la nina loved the pink plastic crap Santa brought. Mr. Muse Girl had a big Christmas this year. Middle child and Man Child seemed happy to be around and have never had an ungrateful Christmas ever! Muse Girl is staying up late and sleeping in. She's wishing for some quiet time or time to herself. Time that isn't bogarted by a need from some direction. Time that is hers to spend in frivolous, self-indulgent behavior. Santa doesn't bring time though, does he?????

PS-contemplating the futile efforts of New Year's Curses . . . I mean Resolutions. Next post topic. MERRY CHRISTMAS!