F off Mr. Video Store Worker

So, I found my muse tonight in Anger. She's such a comfortable friend. Loooovvveee her!
I take La Nina to the video rental place after work to take movies back and rent her Barbie's Diamond Castle. We are checking out and he (who btw-needs to bathe, shave, get a haircut, some modern glasses, and lose 10 lbs) asks, "Have you heard about our Power Play Program." Because I know that the poor guys makes under $10 an hour and HAS to ask this question, I smile sweetly and reply, "Oh, yes, many times." What I wanted to say was, "Every fucking time I'm trying to rent a movie here. You'd think you people understand, 'no means no' by now!" BUT, I refrain. So, he smugly sniffs and pushes his 1960's unflattering frames onto his nose and says, "Well, you could've saved $27 this month already." At this point, I am PISSED. I want to say, "You talkin' to ME?" or "Did I ASK you a question?" BUT, once again, I just give him THE STARE. I reply with flipness, "Guess, I just like to waste my money. Maybe you'll get a raise, honey." Target hit. Point taken. He SHUT up. I want to start handing out a card at the beginning of these little encounters that reads:

Caution. You are talking to one CRAZY ass bitch who has spent the better part of her day biting her tongue, censoring her language, and ignoring stupid, annoying people. She cannot be trusted to not: curse you, cut your gentles off and feed them to you, bitch slap you with both hands, or make you regret eye contact. Speak as little as possible, look down at all times, and by all means do not get uppity with her!