Watched The Brady Bunch marathon on TV Land ALL day today. No, I wasn't sitting around with a bong-ful smoking and eating Cheetos. I was cleaning various rooms of the house and since we have a TV in every room . . . I felt it necessary to keep a continuity of TV while I cleaned. Began with La Nina Loca's room because there was no space of floor that wasn't covered in her stuff. It looked like the toy box had vomitted all over. I sorted and folded and stacked and arranged for hours. I paused intermittently to concentrate on America's family. I moved to other rooms darting in and out replacing objects that had sneaked out of pocket. I vacuumed, mopped, and prepared dinner pausing for interruptions from EVERYONE--Mr. Musegirl needed this, La Nina Loca needed that, Middle child wanted something, Man child popped in for a visit, and the phone. The mo fo phone rang so many gd times! Then as I'm eating while wearing a layer of exhaustion, it hits me. That fuckin Mrs. Brady didn't do shit! Seriously, clips ran through my mind from the day---she was flipping through magazines after dinner with Mr. Brady when Alice walks in SMILING and pours them some post dinner coffee. I see her trying on vacay outfits--ski bunny suit, cowgirl . . . I see her sitting at the kitchen table when her girls bring in groceries AND put them away! All the while Alice busts her big ass doing everything. So, Mrs. Brady does not work outside the home, BUT what does she do??? Alice is the hired slave. If I were Mrs. Brady, I would attend all six PTA meetings, be room mother or some school shit like that. I might really have time to sit around with the bong full and some Cheetos. I guarantee Mr. Musegirl would be sooooooooo pleased with our sex life. Quickies in his office at lunch and all. Think of all the energy I could have! Will continue to fantasize what my life would be if I were Mrs. Brady!
