So, my madre is in the hospital hooked up from every oraface possible. She's trippin' her face off on the morphine she's been on since Tuesday. My sis and I get her to the ER via 911 the other day and that's where it all started. We're 15 mins. into the ER visit and we both decide to take Aleve. I have a headache; she has a backache. As we're swallowing the pills, mama yells from her bed for us to stop it. We shouldn't be doing that in there. When we explained, she states that she thought we were taking "sedatives"!!!!!!!! By God, what a great idea. Wish we'd thought about it! Here are a list of other bizarre, drug-induced sayings she's spouted in the last 48 hours:1. Where'd she go to get that water? The well?? (She'd been gone 2 minutes)
2. That room should be the best since it's taken 'em all day long to "get it ready". (okay, I'll give her this one. We really were told this every 5 minutes for 4 hours straight)
3. I wish someone would sweep this room. That floor is a mess. The floor outside the door is a mess too, get that. (There was no mess on the floor.)
4. I fired that doctor last night. I told him i didn't sign for him. He was that Indian doctor. (He is her doctor. He is East Indian. He is freakin' AWESOME)
5. I told them I was insulted at that treatment. You just don't give someone an enema in an outdoor pavillion and not pull the curtains. And then that whole crowd of people showed up. (She had the enema in the privacy of her own room with one sweet, sweet tech in charge. No relatives from another state witnessed this event.)
6. Is that door closed? (it was the wall)
7. Why is the bathroom in the hallway? (It's two feet from her bed).
8. Is that supposed to be a shirt? (eyes were closed. who knows!)
9. We were thinking about getting a keeper for her. ( In reference to my older sister. She does need a keeper sometimes)
10. I'd prefer that you two not drink that beer in this hospital. (we were reading quietly. There was no alcohol in the hospital nor any mention of boozing it up!)
Don't mean to make light of mom's misery. It is a serious time, but those who know Muse Girl know that humor is my coping mechanism. This is how I get through the tough times!!! You are allowed to laugh at this!!! It's some funny shit.
