Two of my dearest friends began describing hot flashes to me about a year ago. Because I'm freezing 99.9% of the time, I really had little sympathy for them. Inner firestarter is a bad thing? I laughed when they fanned and pulled off clothes.
Karma, ladies, Karma has bitten me on the ass.
Here's the whole delicious story for the two of them:
It was 38 degrees outside. I dressed in layers: long sleeve tee, sweater, coat, scarf, gloves. (pants too, of course). I'm popping around CVS gathering items. I'm in a hurry to go home and take a nap. Middle Child is walking around taking his sweet time shopping. We finally make it to the register. As the girl is ringing up my items, it hits me out of no where. I feel the inner fire begin burning and it gets more intense. Time slows to almost a halt in that one instant. I was confused and a little disoriented because this was happening. Where did this come from? I unzip my coat. I pull off the gloves. NO RELIEF! I stare at the clerk. Is she really there? Why is she moving so slowly? Is it really possible for her to be so insensitive??? I look at Middle Child and decide not to say anything. I unzip the sweater. Nothing. I fan my coat back and forth. Nothing. Finally, sales girl is done with me. Now Middle Child is paying for his purchases! Will it EVER end? I'm dying. Dying. I scoop up my packages and head for the door as fast as my legs will go! I call over my shouldeer, "Meet you in the car!" The automatic doors open, a gust of cold air blasts my body. Instead of my usual bracing for the cold, I EMbrace it. Ahhhhhhh. Small relief. I throw the coat, the sweater, and the gloves in the back seat of the car for the trip home. It came. It went. If fucked me up! I was shocked and appalled at what just happened to my body. I hope it is a LONG time before that happens again.
