So, I spent the majority of my day yesterday in my pjs, in bed watching reruns of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. It began the night before when I had a toothache like a mo'fo and took two pain pills, four ibuprofen and suffered for hours. I woke up a little hung over from the drugs but with a minor toothache. I have SEVERE dentist anxiety and refuse to go. REFUSE. Anyway, to pass my hangover time, I began watching the show. One after the other came on until I was completely mesmerized. I laughed with the women, cried with them, hated with them, and laughed AT them as well. I got up to make dinner b/c I was on overload and had forgotten that I WASN'T one of these privileged women. I realized I didn't have a personal assistant to plan for, shop for, and cook for my family. I did, however, continue my RHofA fest post dinner and Mr. reluctantly joined me at last when he realized I could not be pried from either the bed or the show. He kept saying, "I can't believe you watch this." It's like a train wreck. You can't help but watch! I came to several conclusions after my day with the bitches of Atlanta:1. They must have more money than sense. OR more money than God. OR more debt than there are words in the English language.
2. I want to be a strong, attractive black woman.
3. Wigs are under-rated and I'm considering buying one.
4. They drink as much as I do only I can't afford the amount of wine they consume.
5. Kim's ta-ta's will take over the Southeastern U.S. soon.
6. If I had time to kill, I'd stalk Dwight the gay guy--love him, want to have drinks with him.
7. How do those bitches walk in those heels?
8. Kim has a personal assistant who: hires her nanny, goes with her to plan her birthday party, carts her crap around for photo shoots. Where do I get one of these???????
9. For all of the time those ladies spend hating, they spend equal amounts of time loving. . . someone if not each other.
10. I want to crash one of the parties they show the women attending!
PS-I'm in withdrawals today.
