Muse Girl's Favorite Things and World Peace Promo

***Breaking News***Check in with muse girl on New Year’s Day to read her top 5 list for promoting World Peace! And as a special bonus feature, she will be listing (in the style of Julie Andrew’s from The Sound of Music) 10 of her most favorite things!! You won’t be disappointed!!!You’ll certainly find me there… Cheers!
Posted by blither blather

I recently challenged Blither Blather Blogger to find the positive side of 10 things that I KNEW would be hard for even her. I issued the challenge as a way to reconcile with her new found optimism that was chapping my ass but hard! pause for quote:

The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum.
Havelock EllisEnglish sexual psychologist (1859 - 1939)

So, she issued her own challenge of sorts to me. I spent hours rising to the occasion. So, here are my favorite things in Julie Andrew's fashion:

Paint drops on canvas and chocolate on ice cream

Little girl giggles and a winning soccer team

Bright silver bracelets and 2 shiny rings

These are a few of my favorite things.

Warm comfy jammies and slow sexy tunes

Kisses and crisp sheets and long lazy afternoons

Dragonflies that dance with the sun on their wings

These are a few of my favorite things.

Toes in white sandals with petal pink sheen

Candy that melts in my mouth at Halloween

Roaring log fires that pop, hiss, and sing

These are a few of my favorite things.

When the child cries, when the husband scolds, when I'm feeling

tense

I simply remember my favorite things

and then I don't feel so pissed.

Top 5 ways to Promote World Peace as suggested by Muse Girl:

1. Everyone in the US embraces imported beer. It is more satisfying than domestic. Satisfaction=happiness=peaceful

2. Hour long lunches followed by 30 minute naps on a daily basis.

Sated and well-rested people=peaceful people

3. Madatory Mood Stablizing pills for the entire population.

High and happy=peaceful

4. Free weekly massage therapy for everyone who wants it!

relaxed=peaceful

5. F-bomb comes off the curse word naughty list and is accepted in mainstream society as an acceptable release of anger/frustration.

unrestrained=peaceful

Happy F'ing New Years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tribute to My Dad

Today marks the 7th anniversary of my father's passing. I'm not a sentimental gal and handle grief in a very strange way. I don't miss him anymore on this day than I do any other day of the year. I shed tears over his absence on happy occasions--like birthdays and accomplishments. I thought this year I would honor his life, not his death, with a blog post.

was born in 1923 in North Carolina. His grandparents on both sides were tobacco farmers around the Durham, NC area. His father was a US postman and his mother a homemaker.

He had 3 siblings; two of whom preceded him in death. He went straight from the graduation stage to serving in the army during WWII. He was also a veteran of the Korean War as well. He and my mom met as they both worked as accountants for Bellsouth (called something else then). Their relationship began as he through paper clips at her desk to get her attention. They kept their relationship under wraps for awhile, I understand. He was 7 years her senior.

He was the father to 3 girls; I'm the youngest. He was 46 when I was born!!!! Most interesting fact is that he was the accountant for some mob guys in Miami in the early 60's! I remember a dad who hurt when we hurt and loved when we loved. He was strict, but funny. He loved ice cream, Ronald Reagan, and learning.

My three fave memories of all time:

1. When I was barely married, still in college, and found myself pregnant, he told me it would all be okay. He was the sound, solid voice among chaos for me.

2. When I had moved back to town, divorced, and working a crappy job, he would make me omelets for lunch with sooooo much love!

3. He outed my tattoo to my mom when I was 31 (I'd had it for a year!) with such delight.

Thanks to my dad for all that he was and all that lives on in me now!

Anti-Resolutions for 2010

Dictionary.com defines "resolution":

res⋅o⋅lu⋅tion 
–noun
1.
a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group. Compare concurrent resolution, joint resolution.
2.
a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.
3.
the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.
4.
the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.

For the record, I don't really make resolutions. I realized a long time ago that it was all a giant waste of my time. If I were really going to do those things, I would have already accomplished them. Middle Child asked me recently what my resolutions were going to be this year. I explained my jaded theory and felt bad after he quietly agreed. Should have let him figure this one out on his own. I think I'm going to focus on all of the things I should do but won't and list the things I wish I could make happen in 2010.

Things I should do in 2010 but probably won't:

1. stop facebooking so much

2. stop blogging so much

3. stop texting so much

4. stop feeling negative feelings/thoughts towards others

5. stop putting things off until the last minute

6. stop sitting on my ass and exercise

7. stop drinking so much Heineken

8. stop worrying about my children so much

9. stop watching reality TV-skews the perspective

10. stop having regrets

List of wishes for 2010:

1. I wish I could live more authentically in all areas of my life.

2. I wish I could accept the magic in my life.

3. I wish I could develop my creative interests.

4. I wish I could lovingly embrace my age.

5. I wish I could have more self indulgent moments.

THE END!

Christmas Hangover

Oh, hell. I don't know if this was this best Christmas ever or the worst. I've just had so fuckin many. I'm a hundred years old now anyway. Every Christmas seems one or the other at some point in the 24 hour Eve/Day period, right? I remember when I was going through the sticky situation of who "gets" the boys during Christmas after my divorce. I was never all that hung up on the whole I've got to have them on that day thing. If you look at it as Jesus's birthday, what does that have to do with the boys being with me or not? If you look at it as the whole pagan Santa gift thing, can't I do that on any day of the week/month? Yep, I can. This was Man-Child's first Christmas not living under either roof. Weird, yes. Astonomically-life-changing, no.

What I wanted most for him was for him to be happy being wherever the fuck he wanted to be. Really, no kidding. I'm always trapped in the obligatory need to invite my sister et al over for holidays. I like hangin with her most days but it seems when it comes to "special" days, somebody shows their ass. Guess what? T-giving went well. I guess that was too much. I cooked for what seemed like days to host a loving breakfast for the members of my family. It was a labor of love and my gift to them. I won't go on with the story but no one really seemed to truly value what my offer was meant to be. I let the feelings slide right by as quickly as they came, but when I try to recount it for others, I can't come up with a whole lot of positive comments.

All in all, la nina loved the pink plastic crap Santa brought. Mr. Muse Girl had a big Christmas this year. Middle child and Man Child seemed happy to be around and have never had an ungrateful Christmas ever! Muse Girl is staying up late and sleeping in. She's wishing for some quiet time or time to herself. Time that isn't bogarted by a need from some direction. Time that is hers to spend in frivolous, self-indulgent behavior. Santa doesn't bring time though, does he?????

PS-contemplating the futile efforts of New Year's Curses . . . I mean Resolutions. Next post topic. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Bad Advice from the Cock

Horoscope for the Year of the Rooster for Tuesday:

If you've been working out a lot over the past few months, you should celebrate your new physical capabilities. Rock climbing or kayaking, or any other form of vigorous exercise is favorable. You'll really be able to appreciate your physical accomplishments today.

I've only got three letters, WTF? What about napping and eating are favorable? "New Physical Capabilities"? bbbbaaaaaahhhaaaaaahaaaaa, yeah right. I think the astrono-psychics need to "put the bong down."

It's Getting HOT in Here!

Two of my dearest friends began describing hot flashes to me about a year ago. Because I'm freezing 99.9% of the time, I really had little sympathy for them. Inner firestarter is a bad thing? I laughed when they fanned and pulled off clothes.

Karma, ladies, Karma has bitten me on the ass.

Here's the whole delicious story for the two of them:

It was 38 degrees outside. I dressed in layers: long sleeve tee, sweater, coat, scarf, gloves. (pants too, of course). I'm popping around CVS gathering items. I'm in a hurry to go home and take a nap. Middle Child is walking around taking his sweet time shopping. We finally make it to the register. As the girl is ringing up my items, it hits me out of no where. I feel the inner fire begin burning and it gets more intense. Time slows to almost a halt in that one instant. I was confused and a little disoriented because this was happening. Where did this come from? I unzip my coat. I pull off the gloves. NO RELIEF! I stare at the clerk. Is she really there? Why is she moving so slowly? Is it really possible for her to be so insensitive??? I look at Middle Child and decide not to say anything. I unzip the sweater. Nothing. I fan my coat back and forth. Nothing. Finally, sales girl is done with me. Now Middle Child is paying for his purchases! Will it EVER end? I'm dying. Dying. I scoop up my packages and head for the door as fast as my legs will go! I call over my shouldeer, "Meet you in the car!" The automatic doors open, a gust of cold air blasts my body. Instead of my usual bracing for the cold, I EMbrace it. Ahhhhhhh. Small relief. I throw the coat, the sweater, and the gloves in the back seat of the car for the trip home. It came. It went. If fucked me up! I was shocked and appalled at what just happened to my body. I hope it is a LONG time before that happens again.

Yes, Muse Girl, There Is a Santa Claus!

The holidays have been sneaking up on me gradually this year. Thanksgiving was everything I had hoped for and then some. It's almost like I forgot about all the ones that come after that. . . Mr. Muse Girl put up and decorated the tree this year. I made absolutely no protests. Not because I'm the best wife on the planet (which I am, btw), but because I just didn't really care about it this year. GASP! A week later, I put out other decorations with a small spark of holiday cheer in my tiny Grinch heart. I put a plan in place a month ago to work my second job to get Christmas $$ this year. Last year at Christmas, Mr. Muse Girl had lost his business, we knew the house was next, and money was almost non existent to purchase anything extra. I wanted to replace Mr. Muse Girl's wedding band that he lost working in the swamps of Mississippi about 6 months afo. After I earned some extra $$, I gave it away to a family member who needed it far more desperately than Mr. Muse Girl's cause. The poor man will always have that invisible ball and chain wrapped tightly around his neck . . . I mean ankle, why does he need a ring too??
So, I began to think of Valentine's Day as the holiday for the ring giving. I wished for Santa. I wished that I could just ask Santa for some help this year. AND then . . . the story takes a small diversion.
I almost NEVER check my mail anymore. It involves getting out of the car, using the key to open the box . . . I mean really, why bother for a bunch of fucking bad news everyday? And those ads. Don't they realize that people live in an apt. FOR A REASON. Anyway. So, two weeks go by, i figure there's an electric bill or something in there. So, I stop and get the mail.
OOOOO score!! The magazine I begrudgingly ordered through Middle Child's fundraiser is here finally. I brought the mail home and sorted between junk for shredding, bills, and cards. One mysterious envelope had my name typed and no return address. I left to run errands assuming that it was a solicitation from someone who was praying on the recently down trodden. When I got home, Mr. said, "I opened your mail." I replied, "Thank God, cuz I wasn't going to."
Then he showed me the mysterious envelope contained:
a $100.00 gift card to Walmart and said "From Santa"
NO KIDDING! At first I was dubious and looked it over thinking something was amiss. Nope, completely legit. The only question remains . . . WHO is my Santa???? I made Mr. take a handwriting test right on the spot. Nope. So, WHO????
I may never find out. But, I am thankful and grateful for this generous, anonymous gift. It will go to provide some goodies for my children and that makes me sooooo happy. I think I may have found my Christmas Spirit. It made me want to do this for someone else in the same way next year. So, yes, Muse Girl Readers, there is a Santa!

Til Death Do Us Part

Okay, Muse Girl readers, I need your help to solve an argument with the Mr. Of course, I know that I am right, but let's do this just for kicks, shall we? The other night at dinner, middle child is having a discussion with us about something (topic really does escape me). The subject of how long Mr. and I have been married comes up in this conversation. I say that we were married in 04, Mr. says 03. We debate back and forth citing alleged proof. Middle Child, ever helpful, jumps up and says "I'll go check the Marriage thingey you have framed in your room." He comes back laughing and announces that it was indeed 03. So, Mr. is right.

Here's the argument: I say it is no big deal that I forgot. He says if the tables were turned and he forgot, that I would create the holiest of wars to exact my revenge. I say that I would not because does it really matter??? I mean, we are clearly STILL married and 99.9% of that time is happily married. So, who is right? Is it a big deal that I missed it by one year?

Sound off!

I'M BAAACCKK!

As much as I wanted to retire and revel in my former blogging memories, I find that I miss it too much. I know, it's very Garth Brooks retiring, still touring, one album just for Walmart, change my name come back as a rock star and new haircut, tour again as Garth . . . . I'm tired of having conversations in my head. I'm tired of boring my friends trying to work in would-be blog posts into the conversation. Mr. Muse Girl was reeeeaaaaalllly disappointed in my retirement. So, don't I owe it to marital committments and bliss to return? My only regret in returning is that I was enjoying calling myself "theartistformerlyknownasmusegirl."