Lap Dance!

Okay, I fucked up today. I made a huge social mistake and now owe a friend a lap dance. I am starting to stretch and limber. Going to watch some PCD videos for some slick moves. May re-read Bald Beaver story from Ashley's Closet Blog. Did I mention the friend is a female? The girl on girl stuff puts A LOT of pressure on my performance BECAUSE women are the worst critics! No, we're NOT switch hitting for all you pervs with dirty minds--light hearted silliness to relieve the every day hell of life. Women sit back and go-"I could do that better. I'd gyrate to the left instead of the right. Is she even trying to bounce her ta-ta's? Why didn't she wax THERE?"
Anyway--remember my horoscope for today??? Could this be the "adventure"? Apparently, I am feeling adventurous. Did I mention I was STONE COLD SOBER when I made this offer? I seem to remember some words floating around from this week about "highest integrity" and "high ethical standards." I will manipulate this to mean that I will do a GREAT job. I will do my homework and prepare. Might blog about the outcome. Might not. Stay tuned to find out . . .

Year of the Cock

Things could get tricky today. An unusual opportunity fascinates you, but expect it to be a wilder ride than it appears. If you're ready for a little adventure and complication, by all means proceed. If you'd prefer keeping a predictable, even keel, you should pass on this endeavor.

Okay, dirty gutter minds! I was born in the Year of the Rooster (or cock if you want a giggle) for the purposes of Chinese astrology. I was checking my horoscope for tomorrow b/c the energy feels w-e-i-r-d to me and around me. Now, I tend to be EXTRA paranoid when PMSing and so, I never know if it's the cosmos at work or just me being super CRAZY in the head. When I find myself in that mood, I consult the stars. Tonight I did just that. Didn't like what the cosmos had in store for the Bull, sooooo I moved to the cock. Always find what I want at the cock. Above is my horoscope for tomorrow. Far more exciting than ditching friends that I'm done with (real horoscope crap). I'm curious about the "wild ride." Don't have my significant other around, so that rules out the connotation of "wild ride." Adventure and Complication??? That's my life every mfin day folks. Every day. Tune it tomorrow to find out if there was indeed a "wild ride" that presented "Adventure or Complication"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!