Epistle to the Stuff

Dear Objects of My Home,

I don't know how the hell you have found your way out of the places you belong, but I'm pretty pissed about the whole thing. I look around and not a whole lot is really where it should be. I thought our motto was, "a place for everything and everything in its place"? So, what the fuck happened? I've been going ninety to nothing, true. I've ignored you a little, I know. Really, how does a pine tree branch find its way into the middle of the living room? Why is the large pile of laundry on my bedroom floor instead of the LAUNDRY room? Maybe I should put a sign on the door--LAUNDRY?? Oh, hello Allergy pills on the kitchen bar! Yes, you do belong in the mother fucking medicne cabinet, don't you? Thanks for the remind. I believe the two dozen books and toys do belong in another gd room after all. Well, I don't know what your problem is, but I want it taken care of prontinto. All of the objects in this house that are out of place better find their homes soon or I see the dumpster in their futures! Don't push me! I'll do it; I swear.

Yours forever,

Muse Girl

Shout out to my Pharmacist!

Karen Walker once said on an episode of Will and Grace that she was "thankful for a pharmacologist who is dumb as a box of hair." Here's to her pharmacologist and mine!

Been with out some very important meds for a week (no it's not my crazy pills-for those who know me--plenty of antidepressants in the cabinet)--these meds can literally be a life or death situation (eventually). Anyway, my doctor has proved to be useless in refilling this VERY important prescription in MY timely manner. I guess it's not his fault that I waited until I ran out to call??? Really, his nerve! So, out of desperation I'm calling Pharmacist to ask if he's gotten word from my doc that I can have the pills. No call. I whymper into the phone. He delightfully and without any reproach tells me that I may have a few days worth on the house!!!! WHAT? FREE pills! Oh, mama, it's a dream. I was there in 12 minutes. Swear, 12. So, Pharmie, I love ya! This one's for you!